Consider the statement below A girlwent after the bus. How can you make the image more dramatic? The cheerleader sprintedexcitedly after the bus. See the difference? Simple changes can make your writing much more effective. As you read the paragraphs below, observe how the writer chooses his words. Waiting The train thundered into the station, before slowing to a screeching stop. I watched as other passengers gathered their bagfuls of souvenirs and streamed gladly unto the platform, and into the arms of their welcoming family and friends. Finally, the carriage emptied, and I too, stepped out, wondering if anyone was waiting for me. In the misty drizzle that was beginning to fall, I stood with my luggage beside me, glancing at my watch every now and then.Gradually, the platform became silent as the hordes thinned away, eager to be out of the chilly dampness. Cooking Mummy’s deft knife turned the slab of beef into fine shreds, before she threw them into the pot. Creamy white mushrooms went in next, bobbing playfully in the simmering broth. While everything was cooking, she poured wine in with a generous hand. As she stirred the delicious stew in the pot, warm flavors wafted into the evening air. The fragrance was making me mad with anticipation. I drew in a deep breath, and declared, ‘Dinner is going to be early today.’ The night before an exam The page before him was a blur of black and white. The formulas looked like a jumble of mysterious letters and numbers and signs. In fact, he felt like he had never seen them before. Mark vaguely wondered what he had been doing in class for the past 2 weeks, but brushed these guilty thoughts aside. His eyes glazed over with sleepiness. Try as he might, he just could not rub the exhaustion out of his eyes. Looking out of the window, he realized that many of the flats nearby had their lights on too, though it was past midnight.
A girl went after the bus.
How can you make the image more dramatic?
The cheerleader sprinted excitedly after the bus.
See the difference? Simple changes can make your writing much more effective. As you read the paragraphs below, observe how the writer chooses his words.
Waiting
The train thundered into the station, before slowing to a screeching stop. I watched as other passengers gathered their bagfuls of souvenirs and streamed gladly unto the platform, and into the arms of their welcoming family and friends. Finally, the carriage emptied, and I too, stepped out, wondering if anyone was waiting for me. In the misty drizzle that was beginning to fall, I stood with my luggage beside me, glancing at my watch every now and then. Gradually, the platform became silent as the hordes thinned away, eager to be out of the chilly dampness.
Cooking
Mummy’s deft knife turned the slab of beef into fine shreds, before she threw them into the pot. Creamy white mushrooms went in next, bobbing playfully in the simmering broth. While everything was cooking, she poured wine in with a generous hand. As she stirred the delicious stew in the pot, warm flavors wafted into the evening air. The fragrance was making me mad with anticipation. I drew in a deep breath, and declared, ‘Dinner is going to be early today.’
The night before an exam
The page before him was a blur of black and white. The formulas looked like a jumble of mysterious letters and numbers and signs. In fact, he felt like he had never seen them before. Mark vaguely wondered what he had been doing in class for the past 2 weeks, but brushed these guilty thoughts aside. His eyes glazed over with sleepiness. Try as he might, he just could not rub the exhaustion out of his eyes. Looking out of the window, he realized that many of the flats nearby had their lights on too, though it was past midnight.